Joaquin Phoenix, who announced a year ago that he had quit acting to become a rapper, decided to capture it on video.  His new documentary, filmed by his brother Casey Affleck is ready to hit movie theaters hopefully sometime soon. The only problem is that movie distributors can’t figure out what to do with it. They don’t know if Joaquin Phoenix has shot a spoof, or he’s actually serious about the weirdo he’s portrayed in the film.

The documentary features scenes of of Joaquin snorting cocaine, ordering hookers, having oral sex with his publicist, and abusing his personal assistants. It even shows someone crapping on his bed while sleeping, sounds like fraternity humor to me.

Phoenix, who enjoys taking a walk on the wild side. Entered rehab in 2005 to treat his alcoholism. In 2006, Phoenix was in a car accident in Hollywood on a winding canyon road that flipped over his car. The crash reportedly was caused by brake failure. Shaken and confused, Phoenix heard a tapping on his window and a voice say, “Just relax.” Unable to see the man, Phoenix replied, “I’m fine. I am relaxed.” The man replied, “No, you’re not.” At this point, Phoenix managed to see that the man was famed, eccentric German film director Werner Herzog.  After helping Phoenix out of the wreckage, Herzog phoned in an ambulance and vanished. Now that’s a movie!

An intense Scorpio dude, Phoenix has dated some of the most beautiful women in the world including: Liv Tyler, Gina Gershon, Anna Paquin, Ginnier Goodwin and now young NYC chick named Acacia. No word who the lucky lady is now but lets hope he shaves off that beard REAL soon.

Written by

Jacy Nova

Jacy Nova is the resident Astrologer and Managing Editor for Born under the zodiac sign of Virgo, she has a Libra Rising and Libra Moon.