Michael Lohan and Dina Lohan need to talk to Dana White. Maybe he could set up a MMA fight between the two. The winner gets to take Lindsay Lohan to rehab. While the Lohan family continue to air their dirty laundry on Twitter, Facebook and television, it’s easy to see why Lindsay has spiraled out of control. How can you have a normal life if your father is tape recording your conversations and releasing it to the media?  Just like he did to Jon Gosselin. I thought Michael Lohan was suppose to be a Christian now or some type of minister?

Michael Lohan says: Lindsay never had a restraining order against me. (she will now) You can look it up. Dina and her family have one against me because I beat up her (relative) for smoking crack cocaine at my son’s first communion party.

Our life was fine and we were a close-knit family until Dina and I broke up. (yes all families smoke crack as a toast) It was after our divorce that Dina began to distance Lindsay and my other three children from me. ( Yes, it’s called broke up because it’s broken.)

He continues…She is delusional, she needs help. All I ever wanted was to sit down with Dina and help our children together, first. (Well Mr. Lohan, telling the whole world your daughter has HIV,  isn’t exactly the way to bring the family together, even if it isn’t true, not funny.)

He goes on…If Dina wants to persist with the lies, denials and false accusations, I WILL release every one of the over 100 tapes I have of her stating the exact opposite of what she has been saying about Me and Lindsay.

Translation: he’s looking for Us Magazine, OK Magazine, Radar Online, etc. to pony up cash for all those tapes. What are those tapes worth? At least a $1 million dollars. I guess if he can’t get a reality show off the ground, he’s going to pimp out his daughter Lindsay Lohan one way or another.

Yes, he’s right she does need help but so does he. Hopefully, she will get a restraining order against him and soon. Poor girl! Kate Major dump him while you still can! Run girl run!

Written by

Jacy Nova

Jacy Nova is the resident Astrologer and Managing Editor for Astrochicks.com. Born under the zodiac sign of Virgo, she has a Libra Rising and Libra Moon.